given a purpose to grow.

If you go to google there will be a good debate over what the top ten religions are (size wise) but what there is not a whole lot of debate over is one of the fastest growing religions.

Islam.

While most people will nod to this 'fact', it is also something that will make your skin crawl. A lot of people (or maybe just me) still question why this religion is capturing so many people who are seeking. Christianity continues in most circles to be the largest organized religion, it is also the most criticized and is possibly atrophying(in the US anyway). Why can you see these obvious growth trends? Why is Christianity loosing people, even to the likes of Islam and the LDS church?

I can give two simple reasons that I see within the body of Christ as to why this is true (and to why Christianity is growing so rapidly in places like China).

REASON and ACTION

These two play heavily into your volunteer base as a church, especially youth ministry and student volunteers. Muslims and Mormons both put much action to their faith, Muslims albeit radicals see a jump in growth because of the action taken to their faith through jihad and their practices. Mormons are extremely active in converting people and reaching out. Most Christians sit on their hands. So you wonder why people end up falling by the wayside. I don't have an explicit answer on how to get people actively involved in their faith, and how to keep them there, honestly there are not enough tasks to fit every person's unique abilities and keep everyone involved all of the time. But there does need to be opportunity for people to put action to their faith.

Faith without works is dead.

If it wasn't for opportunities to serve, to make my faith real and to work out for myself why I believed what I believed I could have very easily fallen into the apathetic Christian column. In youth I worked in drama, in college I was not involved and could care less about church, when I graduated I became so involved in tech and ministry that it finally clicked. I cannot make my relationship with Christ work on my own. I cannot sit and read or pray myself into submission to Christ and his will, only through working out my faith can I find out my purpose in Him and through ACTION I not only put motion to my faith but put proof to my faith to others.

Islam gives action to their faith, Mormon's give action to their faith, Catholics give action to their faith (yeah penance and confession is action).

So what opportunities are you giving people to give action to their faith? I think we can cut the attrition rate by giving opportunities to serve. Traditionally the 'christian' church is a sit and gorge buffet. Then you go and live your life to cycle back to Sunday and do it all over again. Christ never intended you to sit on your butt and play church. Work with church members to find their fit. So they're not technical, make sure that they make it into another ministry. So they can't teach or aren't a people person but maybe they can push buttons like no body's business. You also have to take into account that this is on their free time, so gratitude is in order for even the smallest task.

The other part to attrition in the church is REASON. Most people don't know why they believe what they're told to believe. It plays into ACTION very well, because in order for people to put motion behind their faith they need to know why they're doing it. This goes back to youth ministry as well, start young. If you give kids a REASON to put ACTION to their faith they have a much greater possibility of staying connected to their faith after they graduate.

I see so many kids week in and week out who struggle with who they are and why they show up on a weekly basis. Most of them are forced to church by their parents and have no more REASON to be there than the next person. Stop teaching the prosperity gospel, stop teaching 'love' (clarification: by love I mean teaching that all there is to Christ is love, and that it's all fluffy feel good stuff) and begin giving people the foundation behind their faith, there is such a thing called sin. That is why we're stuck in such a degenerate world. Why is the Bible true? Why is God who he says he is? Science v. Creation, is there a difference?

I'm proud to be part of a ministry that is giving kids these answers and the traction to their faith, albeit this is something that is very difficult to keep on top of.

Statistically those who are involved and take ownership of something stay involved, this is true for just about anything you apply it to, whether school, sports, family or church. How can we increase our volunteer base to give people ownership of their faith? What opportunities in the church are we not exploiting to give people an opportunity to serve?

What is the REASON and ACTION behind your faith?

*edit*
What is it that motivates my life to action?
It's something that is hard to put words to because I just came to a place where I knew that is what I had to do.

I guess to put some words to it is the knowledge that I am doing what Christ wants me to do spurs me on. My service is my act of worship.

Once the action was in place, to the point where I was consistently serving I felt more of a practical connection to what I believed. It is my purpose to help lead others in worship through tech and to train others and give them the opportunity to do the same.

I'm not necessarily sure how to translate that to others though except for living it out, and praying I inspire others to the same. It is more of the spirit living in you, and pouring out through what you do. Some people figure out their calling the moment they're saved, some people are called to just be Christians where they're at. Me, I fought being called to ministry. I just came to a point one day for no particular reason where it made sense and I surrendered to whatever and wherever I was sent.

What not to do, medication style.

I've been having sinus problems for the past month. I took some antibiotics while I was moving to TX thinking that would clear it up. Apparently not. It got better for a while, and it feels like it's coming back again. So i stopped at my local Walgreen and picked up some Mucinex D. If you've never taken the stuff it's pretty powerful. It will clear you out quick. I'm just not so sure my body likes pseudoephedrine.

What is interesting about it is it put my grandpa in the hospital (I had forgotten about that). It also doesn't let you sleep. I started taking the stuff Saturday evening, I slept all of maybe 3 hours that night. Got up and going Sunday (with no problems, I seriously was flipping out because usually I'd be dragging) couldn't take a nap that afternoon and was out till 1am without feeling tired at all. I had only taken one pill early that morning on Sunday so I didn't have it in my system once I got home and got in bed. I crashed and crashed hard when I got home. I tried to get up early and my body yelled at me so I crawled back into bed.

So there is a reason you need your ID to buy this stuff. Don't take it to often, in fact don't take it at all if you don't have to (a, it's expensive and b, it does some weird stuff to you).

Powerpoint? that's so 1995...

Powerpoint, Microsoft's flagship presentation software has paved the way for thousands of people across the world to interactively and graphically present their case for many years. Unfortunately the flagship software has sunk. It is no more intuitive than your toaster knowing that you want to make toast and it doing it without you touching it.

Now I'm not saying there is any catch-all miracle software that does fantastic at getting your presentation to look great and makes your toast too. But if you want your presentation to look like it came out of 1995 then by all means go for it! The templates are horrible and the transitions don't look so hot.

I had to plug in a PC to our projectors which are 4:3 but we overshoot, and scale the output to 16:9. Sounds simple enough, and with ProPresenter and Keynote it actually is. It's not hard to find settings to do such things. BUT powerpoint? no way jose. I had to google it in order to find out how to change the output pixel ratio, and do you know what I found? you have to "trick it" becuase who would want to use a (now standard) 16:9 device with powerpoint?! I had to go in and set the 'print output page space" to change the screen out put...REDICULOUS!

So not only does it make youre presentations look like you're way behind the times, it also makes set up for tech people a nightmare. Some how I made presenters view dissappear as well and can't get it back...oh well not my latop not my problem :)

Something else is, PC's do not come standard with a decent video card/output device so if you're pushing to a projector over a long cord, or your PC and your projector were made in different eras then you're going to have a huge compatibility issue and will either end up with lines through your screen, incorrect resolutions, a video card to weak to actually display the distance you need without a booster in line, or a sucky image.

Mac's can do it out the box...seriously. Use Keynote. Tech guys will love you forever. Oh and know what you're doing somewhat!

Audio is a whole other ball park and most mobile computers suck at doing it from the mini-port.

So if you're going to use a PC and powerpoint, design your graphics well, make sure you're ready to go for any type of display situation and don't give your tech guy grief if he has to jump through 500 hoops to get your presentation to display (and it still looks like crap, part of that is probably your fault)

keeping you tech savy

HEY MAKE SURE THAT EVERYTHING STAYS PLUGGED IN!

So what do you do when in the middle of your worship set you figure out that you've lost DMX control to two of your lights?

Sunday I'm producing the third service and running lights. Wildly enough as the stage strike is going on they decide to move the large drum riser to the center of the stage. I run up on stage to make sure that nothing came out of the audio snake. That would have been catastrophic if we had lost some channels of audio. (which the week prior the board unpatched a few channels and it was two songs in before we realized it) What I failed to check for is the DMX line that runs clear across the stage feeding the stage left floor movers.

First song comes along and I don't see any difference, second song hits and it's majorly blue...big problem, the stage left light is green. I go through the next few steps in the song...no change....still green. The stage manager goes out to check it, but he doesn't know what he's looking for so it stays green. The message starts, I pull down the working light and turn it green and bring it back in to match (hopefully that wasn't to noticible).

When the drum riser got moved it yanked the DMX control cable out leaving the two lights on the left totaly helpless...so making sure everything stays plugged in...didn't happen.

What would you have done differently? Just run the service sans change? Taken the lights out from the get go? Run on stage and fixed it yourself?

Living on my own: Episode Two

This week I got to experience a Jerry Springer moment. Yes that's right I figured the only real white trash lived in Ohio (no offense but you know the area's I'm talking about if you're from there). I think it was Friday night I had just got in a while before from seeing a movie and I hear voices outside my door. At first it was just loud talking, a heated discussion if you will. Pretty soon it turned into a full out episode of Jerry Springer (well, if you were in another room with the volume all of the way up on the TV and all you could hear was the voices).

I'd say the fight lasted for an hour, The boyfriend kicking his girl out. She was screaming and pounding on the door (it felt like she was pounding on my door it was so loud). She wanted her dog back and her cell phone. He said it's his name on the lease and he didn't have to give anything back. So this went back and forth outside my door, and up and down the stairs multiple times. Thankfully about midnight they hung it up for the night and she left.

So that was one of the more interesting happenings...white trash lives on, I guess it's more of a culture that flocks to the apt. style living rather than a specific area of a state.

I've also been fighting with Verizon to get internet hooked up to my place. Finally Monday I achieved success! It took two calls and someone coming out to my complex to do who knows what to get it connected but it happened. I had gotten a phone call last week telling me that they hooked it up but they lied. I then tried to call them on Saturday (because who has time during the week during normal business hours to call about a tech issue) and the 24/7 tech support isn't so 24/7...it's actually monday - friday 8-6...anoying. That's over now, I can now play online games and stream tv shows from hulu and catch up on what I've missed.

boy...games and tv shows...I need a girlfriend.

I feel like I had some more disturbing life information...but I can't remember what it is. I'm still waiting for insurance cards and my permanent gym card.

The bank that I started a checking account in got robbed the other day too...thankfully beacuse a branch gets robbed doesn't mean your money goes bye bye...I'd be pissed.

Leeland and the holy spirit hoedown

So the over all thought for the tech nightmare post was if you can't do it right when you're trying to do it big, then either a) don't do it at all, or b) scale back till you can do it right. One other thing I forgot to mention is the use of punch lights/audience lights as house lights...bad idea.

After yesterday's post on tech I figured I would bring the other side of the 'concert/conference' that made the entire thing just a little more on the awkward side. Gideon's Army was a charismatic organization that had put on the whole thing and frankly from the time we walked in it was kind of an awkward oppressive feeling because we were not part of the group. I kind of wondered what was going to happen when "Gideon" got up to introduce Leeland because intermittently he began saying unintelligible things, which I kind of shrugged off as the fact that I couldn't understand him to begin with.

The music started and people moved forward and all of the sudden people broke loose, dancing in the aisle ways shouting, etc. Now this could have just been an exuberant group of kids...so no condemnation there. Leeland started getting into it and went into a 20 minute rendition of just saying love, love, love or joy, joy, joy. Ok thats cool, but people were hoopin and hollerin like it was 1995. I didn't get it. So that kind of drug on and on and on and then out of no where the guy gets up again and starts praying because this was a "conference" to start igniting the passions of students in their schools. So wait...this was a student rally?

All of the sudden people started walking up on stage, to 'pray'. This girl grabbed the mic and started rambling nonsense then started praying and then back to some gibberish. Then another guy jumped up on stage and started praying and waving his hands. This was getting a little awkward. The pastor grabbed the mic and started praying again and had Leeland start to sing more, but he joined in with them in singing loudly into the mic and dancing on stage. By this point, besides looking like Benny Hin, he had lost all respect from me. This is the look at me mentality. What did Jesus say about the people who do this? They already have their reward.

Let's look at this from the reverse perspective, and this applies not only to this situation but what you do in your own church/life. We're trying to reach the MTV generation. These kids are already highly skeptical view of God, religion and church. You're going to hold a youth rally event, that you're going to encourage kids to bring lost people to. I'd say a lot of the kids have never been to church or, don't want a part of church because of past experiences. How to you expect to connect with them when your media and tech on the face value looks cool, but either doesn't work or doesn't look good? These kids consume exuberant amounts of awesome (production value) media, or go to expensive concerts. They're attention spans for this kind of stuff is short, you have to grab them and hold them, even if it's simple.

A lot of times Christians get pegged for doing cheesy stuff. Watch TBN, a large helping of Christian music videos and maybe a smattering of concerts online and you'll get my drift. Lady with big blue/pink/green hair in high backed gold chairs and fancy set pieces? A sub par music video that looks like a kid did it in his basement on his laptop and hand cam? a hand full of intelligent lights pointed at the ceiling?

I could take a ton of time and talk about speaking in tongues, go read the Bible, it's in there, the apostles did it because there was a need for each person to hear in thier own language, it's a miracle event. Gibberish not included. Can God still preform miracles today? yup, but speaking in a language all your own (and sounding like an idiot) to be more spiritual is not exactly what I'd call a miracle, more like acting like the Pharisee who is standing on the street corner praying loudly so that all can hear.

You expect students to invite their lost friends, who are skeptical to religion, to a place where they are ultimately going to feel extremely uncomfortable and probably become even more skeptical of religion. Imagine, you didn't know Christ, or you may not have to imagine. You walk into a building set up for 700 people and there are only about 200-300 people there. No one talks to you, and because you're an outsider you kind of get looked at funny. The event starts and people start going crazy, not just hey im having fun goofing off crazy but I'm possessed spinning and jumping around, flailing like a dead fish crazy. People start running laps for Jesus, a couple people get up on stage and start speaking in tongues, and the band is singing one word over and over again for 20 minutes. You can't figure out what is going on and by the time the speaker gets up to tell you what is going on you've completely disengaged yourself.

Now this all came with a gut check too. I had to stop and say, because I'm a Christian is it wrong for me not to get into something this much. Can I still say I'm joyful and not express myself outwardly like this. My conclusion is, yes I can. Your faith is expressed through many number of means and it does not have to be show-offy. Then I had to ask myself, is this junk wrong? You can take that in two directions. Personally for them is it wrong(without touching on biblical issues)? no, it is how they express themselves, if they want to dace like a fool go for it. Publicly is it wrong? I might have to say yes on that. Paul says in Corinthians to not cause any one to stumble, Jew, Greek, or the church of God.... Telling someone that they do not have the gift of tongues and there fore are less spiritual, or making someone feel completely out of place and uncomfortable is NOT biblical.

As Christians we are called to be a change agent in the world around us. Not a deter rant for those to believe. We should be providing warm, welcoming, challenging and growing environments for students that does not cause them to leave with more questions or down right rejection because of how we acted. (Not watered down, just being able to bring teenagers in without having them freaked out, the word 'church' is hard enough to swallow for the general public)

So does the holy spirit need to have a hoedown in order to meet us in a place? absolutely not, he's with us wherever we're at. Just be authentic, that is all God asks of you as a Christian. You'll get a better response from people too.

Leeland and the sword of faith

I ventured out to see Leeland last night. I was kinda pumped, I like Leeland, musically, vocally and lyrically. They are one of the 'fresher' bands on the worship/CHR music lists. Frankly I think a lot of their lyrics hit home just because of their age group and who they're writing to.

I got into the place after Brandon told me it was part of a conference to find out who was putting it on, Gideon's Army. I don't mean this in a condemning or mocking way, but it was a charismatic event. (insert pause here). Unfortunately every charismatic event that I have had the pleasure of taking part in have seriously been the most awkward things I've ever seen. There are a lot of things you can point fingers at in 'Christianity' and say that is why people think we're nut jobs, this would be one of them.

I'll dive into the technical aspects first. We walk in to see a jib (that wasn't being used for the concert) sitting in the back, cool except it was covered in gaff tape and was a little chincy...oh boy. Secondly we notice the IMAG screen (yes singular, one not two) that had a live single camera feed with the gideon's army logo and some text overlayed. The music lyrics were overlayed in the same fashion and it really seemed the lady was typing them up as the song went on because they were not instantaneous. The text was a serif and was tiny tiny. There wasn't really ANY front lighting for video except for the bright white and blue lights coming out of the movers they had. The sound, well...that was intersting, the right speaker cluster wasn't on through the first song, brandon had to go let the sound guy know it wasn't engaged. Vocal's weren't real audible and it was very hollow(and a lot of bass, the room was a conference room too which didn't help). Back to lighting, the inteligent lights had about 2-3 moves and most of the light got thrown onto the cieling which made no sense to me. One more thing that was a nail in the coffin. They stopped everything to show a video on relief efforts going on in Galveston, cool, except the video made me feel like I was on an acid trip. The computer running the WONDERFUL graphics was A) a PC, B) extremely UNDER powered and C) MIRRORED. If you're in the tech world these three things on their own are bad enough but all together = a disaster. So you saw the person end the program and go back to the desktop and open up windows media player to start the video and they struggled to get it full screen. It was at this poin that I noticed the screen was not keystoned in any sense of the word. Once the video played it started chugging, in essence the computer could not keep up with the audio/video, so the audio seemed to seriously lag, and it was extremely choppy. The guy talked slow to begin with, and the audio/music was aweful. So out of 5 stars i give a .5 on tech crew.

Ok I would go on to part two of this blog and talk about the atmosphere but I don't actually have any time to go on to that...

So I end part one with this, Christian events end up extremely sub par in the tech/creative field and this is one thing that we get laughed at for. You cannot be taken seriously any more if you don't step up your game. Just throwing money at something does not necesarily make it quailty either, time, effort and experience come largely into play as well.

Living On My Own: Episode One (roll star wars theme)

I've been in my apartment for 2 weeks now and I figured I would go ahead and leave a few stories. The apartment pictured to the right is my neighbor down and across from me. Every time I go by their door their garbage is sitting outside of their door in little bags. It will sit there for days at a time till one day it disappears...only to show up IN FRONT of the dumpster. Now I don't exactly know why it doesn't go IN the dumpster, or why exactly it has to sit in front of their door and make my walk to my door obnoxious either. It could have something to do with the elephant god picture thing that is posted right under their apartment number.

I just googled it and I'm guessing that it is the hindu god of success, Ganesha. Or the god to remove obstacles...well i wish he'd remove the freaking obstacle of garbage sitting in front of these people's doorway! Then again that could be what they're testing out, and he's moving it down to in front of the dumpster every few days.....no

Then there is car wash lady, In one weeks time I saw her out there washing and waxing her car twice. It could be OCD or it could be she just forgot she did it a couple days earlier. I haven't seen her out there doing it this week but it has been a little cooler and I haven't exactly had time to sit around and watch for her this week either.

I ventured out one day to get my hair cut at the mall. It was an extremely awkward 20/30 minutes. The guy was gay and did not talk all that much, so sitting there for 20+ minutes being touched by this guy who wasn't saying much is kind of awkward. Then when he did bring things up it would be things like, so you're new in town, 'by yourself?' there are some cool places to hang out at, and then at the end he said, I'm really glad you came in today. Really captain awkward? If it wasn't for the fact that he gave a good haircut I'm not sure what I'd think.

I'm still battling to get the internet in my apartment so I am currently thiefing wifi from the public access at the complex. The only problem is I'm just on the edge of the signal so in order to latch on to it I have to have my laptop against a window and even then it's a 50/50 chance whether or not it stays connected. It was supposed to be up yesteday but once again they failed to meet their date, so now i get to call and complain! I'm wondering if I can use this as leverage to get out of my verizon contract for my wireless...hey you're not living up to your promises and pissing me off so I'd like out all the way, thanks.

thanks for reading

Stage set 101

Alright the task this time around was to school or be schooled. Thankfully the former happened rather than the latter. My first huge task was to tackle the stage reset in the youth building and they had some pretty big goals what with extra projection and such.

Thankfully after a week or so of work and stumbling through my first set I can call this one a success. I'm sure not all will turn out that way, and I'm sure there will be ways I can streamline the process and clean up around my runs.

The biggest feat on this stage set to tackle was the broken 'screen' floating on stage. First off, it was pretty cheap, foam core boards you can find at your nearest hobby lobby and some lumber and brackets at your local hardware store. Make a rectangle, create some varied height surfaces using angle brackets, spray paint black and then attach your foam core. (warning, if you fly your support structure before you hang your foam core make sure you have plenty of people around who are not level challenged otherwise you might end up with more of a disaster than a unified but 'randomly chaotic' design.

What did we use to hang the boards, some really sticky vent tape, but I'd even go as far to suggest using something a little more hardcore, liquid nails comes to mind (although there is some set time required before hanging) or white screws.

Play with patterns then throw up a couple of projectors and see what happens.

Next post: Living on my own: episode one.

woops - Texas day 1.2

I guess I was supposed to blog about how I was going to be moving to texas...the funny thing is that as of last night I moved (at least in person, but not all of my stuff).

I'm tired and this is going to be kind of succinct but here's what happened in the short.

Sugar Creek Baptist flew me down, everything went great, I proceeded further in the process to get a job, then they offered me the job. I accepted. Within two weeks I have found a place to live, and last night I flew in to start today. My stuff is being driven down by my awesome parents, and I'm staying with a guy from work for a few days till they get down here. I got in last night at 11 after some delays (1 technical and lets just say it was interesting with no AC on the plane while we were grounded for 20 minutes with some black people who wouldn't shut up about how scared they were and they wanted off the plane).
I got in about 11p cst and finally got my luggage only to get to the rental car booth and they said oh you need a credit card, how about a debit card, ok...run it through...you're not 25 yet this isn't going to work...what do you mean it's not going to work. Apparently if you're not 25 renting a car on a debit card doesn't work because they think you're not going to have the 'credit' to rent it. IT'S COMING OUT OF MY CHECKING WHO CARES ABOUT CREDIT?! so finally I call the manager in there (after midnight) and he approves me for the car AFTER I agree to pay for full insurance coverage...I'm tired and pissed at this guy. So now I'm paying double for my rental car. I jump on the road only to get super lost in the industrial part of Houston. Finally I whip the car around off the highway and see a sign for where I'm supposed to be praise God! I make it in about 1am to Brandon's place (which is 2am for me since I'm still running on est).

Today I got up, went in to my first day just a bunch of getting oriented to life on campus, recieved my janitor ring of keys to almost every door in the place. Checked out where all the stuff was I needed to know. Ate food, more checking out of stuff I need to know, setting up my email and then setting up my desk (kind of).

I'll throw up pictures on facebook tomorrow.

thats my blog for today.

flying out

Welp the next time I update will probably be an indication whether or not I'm moving.

Some stuff has been moving mighty quick lately. I had a second interview with Sugar Creek Baptist Church out in Sugarland Texas not two weeks ago. That went well, I emailed a few days later because they said they would set up number three with another guy, gave some times and said let me know when you would like it to happen. Tuesday of this week I get a random phone call, i recognize the area code and pick up. Third interview in the can, I thought it went well, but apparently they thought it went really well. I got a call a few hours later asking if this weekend I was free to fly down because they wanted to get me in before the youth were out for some reason (the position I'm in the running for is working in the youth ministry). I said HECK YES I CAN. The next day I had flight confirmations in my inbox and right now I'm sitting in Cleveland Airport waiting on my flight out to houston.

I really fell like this has been a God thing.
I've never felt like leaving Answers In Genesis was the wrong option. I still feel that way to this day, it's a great, God ordained place, but it was not for me. I had said when I left if I couldn't find anything that I would serve at a resturaunt in the interim. Frankly I feel like God was waiting for me to do that, to see if I actually would, to humble me. Days later I started on this process with the church. I feel totaly comfortable, and at peace with the entire thing.

Now the thing is, this church process could pan out to be nothing at all, and I understand that, but I'm also excited just to see God moving. If not here, then somewhere else. It is a confirmation for sure that I want to be part of a ministry full time in some respect doing what I love to do, media/tech work.

So a bit about this position, It's an Assistant Techincal Director. I'd report to the TD and the youth worship pastor. I'd be in charge of the tech for the youth ministry (lights, sound, video, stage design etc.) and then whatever else needs done. Doing training and team building with the youth involved in the services.

Bascially not a strech of the imagination seeing myself fill this at all.

Thanks to all who have prayed for my job situation.

My waiting room has been a couple months, and thats short in comparison to some peoples. Yet God is faithful to his own.

A lot is going on

The last time we talked I was busy but nothing that paid.

This week I started training again at Bravo's Italian Cucina (kitchen).
I walked in friday and was hired saturday. (no I didn't stay over night and camp out till they hired me).
Sunday morning Eric got the bright idea of tearing out the entire FOH console area and rebuilding it. (since we were going to do the install of a new board anyway)
So for the past 3 days I have spent A TON of time at church ripping out, running cable, planning, figuring out logistics of placement, getting supplies and arguing over the best way to do it.
Oh there has been a lot of prayer, that we're ready for a crash run through tomorrow afternoon for our wednesday night service.
I'm updating the graphic for the sermon series tonight.
I start doing follows on thursday for work.
Oh and tomorrow morning I have a second phone interview with Sugar Creek Baptist in Sugarland, Texas.
Busy Busy Busy.
In between training/following at Bravo's I'm going to be finishing up the install of the FOH system and hoping that it all works completely for Sunday morning.


For some reason every time I see a car with Obama '08 on it I am seeing a repetitive trend...they're black, same with tacky yard signs. Today I saw a car that had used window paint to paint OBAMA '08 on the rear windshield. Sure enough he was black. I didn't think his platform was ethnicity but it sure has turned into that. Every black person is proud to have someone of their own skin color running for the big man upstairs.

My thing is...the differences stop with the fact that he has more melanin...they fail to notice that he doesn't talk like he walked out of the ghetto...in fact he talks like your average whitey. So the next time you go to buy a car pennant that proudly beats your candidate choice into the side of your motor vehicle remember...check out the platform, background and dedication. The person you vote for is more than skin deep.

Its been a few days you know what that means...

updates!

- I've run sound twice during the day and 3 times during the evening at church this week.
- I created a sermon series graphic.
- I managed to only make it to the gym once this week so far (horror upon horrors)
- I still don't have a job and am starting to get yelled at for it.
- I want a job but am having problems finding one. (and while I don't really want a restaurant job I can't seem to find one there either)
- I've eaten poorly this week. (ie out a lot)
- I ordered a new soundboard for church.
- I have slept in the basement every night this week because my dad refuses to actually make the house cool.
- I am almost always hot.
- I am wearing jeans right now and with it being hot it's a bad idea.
- I need to move out of my house (job first) and find a place on my own soon. I love my family but it's time.
- My mom and I are at odds a little bit this week because she's overly emotional. It can't be menopause because she already hit that...is there something else?
- I've still got some things to finish up for church this week but I need to apply more places to work first.
- I'm running sound at a wedding friday/saturday and church sunday (6day sound week).
- This has turned into a really dumb post.

Remember how I talked about the waiting room a bit ago? It was echo'd back to me by a man in my church who I'm 99.99999% sure never read my blog. Really kinda cool for God to confirm that he has me waiting for some reason.

The Weekend Recap

If you haven't noticed a trend I'm going to try and pick up a consistency in my blogging, and it's just gonna be me. No frills, no gills, no if's, and's, or but's.

I put a bit about this before hand but my friend Nelson decided it would be a good idea to sit a moving chainsaw down on his foot.

No Nelson...not a good idea.

So most of yesterday was spent hanging out at hospitals.
First one was to see Niki because she had her baby and there were some complications, a few surgery's later Easton's on his way to recovery and doing fine. We sat in the waiting room for an hour because we thought there were already people in Niki's room...there were not.

Secondly we went and saw Nelson P. Floyd. (We being the two Rachel's and I).
He was still in recovery and in a lot of pain (go figure) so we went and got food and walked through Urban Outfitters (which is painful when you have no job). I bought flip-flops.
We got back to the room and there is Nelson half smiling half grimacing. This Asian nurse saying things heavily accented about his bowel movements, we're all trying not to laugh because he is confused. Then she grabs his foot that he just had operated on...he was trying not to say bad things to her.

She leaves and his comment is...WHY UP UNTIL NOW HAS EVERYONE BEEN CAREFUL AND IT'S THE ASIAN!....
racist nelson.
Then he tells her Morphine does not help the pain and makes him itch "You want me to stop?", "No keep it coming"
druggie nelson.
IF YOU COME BACK BRING ME FOOD
hungry nelson.

if you're driving through a neighbor hood where everyone is on their porch staring you down you're automatically a racist...even if you're white and the people staring are white.

Tonight I'm going to hang out with Spiderman and Batman and little kids. I just hope after some fair warnings that the two super hero's put their weapons away before they take the stage again...and thank goodness precious few people will actually know what I mean by that.

The Rose For Sharron

First of all...I've got to say tonight is one of the most beautiful nights in Cincy that I have ever experienced. I seriously felt like I was on the beach the entire time.

Secondly I've got some great friends to hang with...even if one of them feels like her head is going to fall off.

Now on to Sharron's Rose

You see...tonight we sat at Starbucks for who knows how long and talked, about God, life, friends, friends almost cutting their foot off (yes Nelson), love, well...love in respect to people finding it.

It was getting late, probably 9ish and people have been going in and out of starbucks ordering drinks, sitting and talking. We outlasted most of them, but one stuck out in particular. I watched this guy walk up and sit down without even going into the bux to order a drink.

While this was unusual enough, he had a rose in his hand.

So he sat there for a while, and because he was in earshot, I texted Erika to see if she noticed the awkwardness of the situation. I figured...well this would be the last time he shows up early for a date. (first thing...who meets the date somewhere, secondly why starbucks). Eventually we figured this poor guy must have been meeting someone from a match.com/eharmony.com site.

Hi I'm Eric,
Meet me at Starbucks on Union Center at 9pm. I'll have a rose and a pack of ciggarettes. (well...I'm sure he didn't mention the later) I'll be waiting for you there.

Why oh why in our culture is this a good idea...blind dates pale in comparison to this because at least your friend has gotten a good look at your date before he/she set you up.

After a while longer he got up and left.

Now before you all go awwwwww......as soon as I was sure he drove off Erika and I busted out laughing. Seriously...apparently there is something wrong with us. I guess his perdicament was kinda freaking hilarious. If I told you to meet me at a starbucks over an email and to look for me carying a rose or some other missplaced sense of romanticism would you show up?

I mean with all of the people there it is entirely possible that his potential date showed up either by herself (or hisself, Erika pointed out that he crossed his legs like a woman) or with a friend, tested the waters went in purchased a coffee and left (or maybe even sat and watched the poor guy).

He had a large look of dissappointment on his face.

Rachel got upset that we laughed after we let her on to the goings on...which is why we didn't include her in the first place. She told me to have the love of Jesus.

Since when didn't Jesus get a kick out of stuff? Seriously, at this point I'm pretty sure that if a book of the Bible was being written it would be said:

Jesus Laughed

I would too if I were God and saw all of our self important triumphs and losses...but maybe thats why I'm not God? Oh well...I like to think God laughs with me when stupid stuff happens

So that is my story of Sharron's rose...or pottentially Sharrod's rose (if he were black and gay).

The Waiting Room

Each person has their own waiting room. Something I'm being forced to learn. I feel God has called me in a particular direction and now he's told me to sit and wait. I'm not sure I like waiting, but that is what he's got me doing now. I think that is probably one of the most difficult things to possibly do, especially when you feel like you know what you should be doing, and aren't doing it.

So as an encouragement, you're not alone in your waiting room, whatever it is you're waiting for. You could be there a few day's like Jonah in the belly of the fish, or many years like the children of Israel in the desert with Moses waiting on the promise land.

So until then I glory in Christ and what he will do when the time is right. Even if I don't like waiting.

The One Who Sees Me

Genesis 16

Just a couple quick things. I love reading and figuring out small pieces of God's character.

Last night at church we were challenged to spend 10-15 minutes in prayer and reading scripture each day but not taking our own agenda or grocery lists of to-do's to God, and just listening to him. Every single person is guilty of this, and while I'm not consistent in my personal time I want to be...and it is refreshing when I do it.

So just some words.

Genesis 16 is all about the conception of Ishmael, Abraham's son via Sarah's servant Hagar.

Hagar becomes pregnant and the when she does she lost respect for Sarah. Sarah then tells Hagar to leave.

The first thing I see here (and i had to re-read this passage to even understand this) is that God takes care of his own, and will bring about restoration.

God tells Hagar, yeah you're pregnant, now what? you don't have any where to go and the baby needs taken care of...go back to Sarah. I could give you examples out of my own life where i see this taking place either with me or others, and if you thought long enough I'm sure you could too. God brings about the restoration necessary for life to go on...did he fix the problem the way Hagar wanted it to be fixed? probably not, was the proclamation that Ishmael is going to fighting for his entire life what she wanted for her son? doubtful, yet God worked. God restored Hagar to Sarah, maybe not under ideal circumstances, she was still pregnant you know, and she probably still didn't see eye to eye with Sarah.

Secondly the obvious statement is God is the one who sees me, he saw Hagar's affliction, her pregnancy.

Although obvious it is incredibly powerful.

A little glimpse into the character of God, even when we're not expecting it, even when we're hiding, even when we don't want to be found, God sees us. Then, we see God. We see God for who he truly is, we begin to see his plan, we begin to see that he's always been there watching over us. Like Hagar we see God as the protector and restorer. It does not say here that God fixes everything just right with a cherry on top and everything is peachy keen, it just says that God saw, and in return she saw God.

That is actually a powerful statement...to see God...
just relish on that for a second.

are you seeing God? am I?
What am I burying myself under, trying to hide myself from God with?

1 Corinthians 3:18-20 (The Message)

18-20Don't fool yourself. Don't think that you can be wise merely by being up-to-date with the times. Be God's fool—that's the path to true wisdom. What the world calls smart, God calls stupid. It's written in Scripture,

He exposes the chicanery of the chic.
The Master sees through the smoke screens
of the know-it-alls.

I'm not even sure what to say right now. My heart is torn. I feel so bad for things going on in my family. My brother who wants to become like the prodigal son an flee home with as much cash as he can and party his life away. My aunt who has become addicted to cocaine and heroine.

A family in my church loosing a father and a brother within weeks of each other.

Then I read a passage like this....
Any words I have to offer are ones of stupidity. Why? Because they are of myself...my wisdom is nothing.

Also...what people see for themselves as wisdom is also fruitless. Mere stupidity, but because this is what the world tells them is good...they believe it. Or even if they don't believe it initially, they trick themselves into believing their own smoke screen.

God expose our own futile attempts for wisdom in our lives. There is so much pain and suffering, so much torn apart. Things that can only be healed with your wisdom, mercy and grace.

Please hold my tongue and shine your light to expose our own smoke screen.

Send Me

To be completely honest...I haven't cracked the word in a while.

Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you, more out of selfishness of my own time i suppose. Lately though God has been impressing on me prayer, and through prayer he has begun to redirect my mind...it truly is amazing once you start redirecting some things in your life what you begin to see happen.

Something I gleaned in church a few weeks ago has stuck with me, and this has begun to be my prayer, the position, passion and peace of Christ.

Position - That I would see where and for what reason God has me in each situation.

Passion - That God would instill in me a passion for him, and that it would become evident in my life.

Peace - That no matter what I am dealing with, struggling with, frustrated with, that the peace of Christ would come over me.

Tonight I read these things...and once again...applies to my prayer.

Isaiah 6 (English Standard Version)

3And one called to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"4And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. 5And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" 6Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for." 8And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me."

Sometimes you just have to sit before the Lord of Glory and revel in his majesty. To realize how unclean you truly are. Isaiah was not just talking about 'saying things he shouldn't' here when the angel touched his lips with coal. He was talking about the status of his heart, and the heart of the people of Israel.

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

So this was such an internal issue that Isaiah saw himself as totally unclean before the Lord, which we all are...and yet he has cleansed us.

Our response should be...send us.

I certainly don't live a 'sent' life.

But after this week of emboldened prayer...I'm ready to go again.

1 Corinthians 1 (English Standard Version)

26For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 sanctification andAnd because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and redemption, 31so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Let's face it because of sin we're all stupid. It's just that some of us recognize it sooner than others. The secular humanists of this world have their accolades and that pat on the back and piece of paper hung above their desk is about all of the congratulations they're going to get in light of eternity.

The low in Christ are those that are raised up, redeemed, and able to boast in something greater than himself.

So going back to Isaiah, is your heart clean? are you ready to be sent? What is your calling? Are you boasting in the Lord rather than yourself?

I pray I am.

I pray for position, passion and peace.

God here am I send me.

Search for a verse, get a smack in the head.

Philipians 2 (The Message)
3-4 Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

12-13 What I'm getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience. Now that I'm separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.

14-16 Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.

Matt Holman made reference to Philippians 2:3-4 on Sunday, so i looked it up, read the whole chapter and got a wow factor.

Am I about others? Do I do what I do for God, with the fervor of God? Do I do it without bickering? Am I living proof of Christ? Am I living in responsive obedience?

Sadly...I cannot answer yes to most of these at this moment in time.
I want to.

I'm praying

This life is either a crazy leap of faith or just crazy.

I'm still trying to figure out which one, in the mean time I pray.

Pray that God's will be done, and peace be had.

if you're gonna be stupid you had better have a dang good reason

I think that there is a difference between someone being completely ignorant of something and someone being willfully ignorant.

I run into this a lot; names, places and incidents have been omitted for...mostly my protection.

Some people when they give you that blank stare, or an answer that just seems retarded...it's because they honestly have no clue what you're talking about or what they're talking about. It isn't their fault because they don't know any better.

Take faith for example, young Christians may make an ignorant comment about scriptures, or about spiritual matters in general and it's because they've either been taught that and don't understand they need to look for themselves, or they're taking their world view and applying it to the bible, and things don't add up. Then you've got Christians who do know better, they've been seeking after Christ for a very long time, they know to search the scriptures, and to petition God and yet when they bring up subjects they shouldn't they develop foot in mouth disease.

These things go on outside of spiritual matters too. People will WILLFULLY ignore facts, or will not go searching for facts themselves and instead go straight to someone else after hearsay and point a finger. Why are they being willfully ignorant when the facts are a few steps or keystrokes away? This makes me want to do nothing more than beat said ignorant person over the head. The naturally ignorant person can be aggravating, but you eventually just shake their head because they don't know any better.

I guess the question I have to ask myself is when a person moves beyond naturally ignorant and into willfully ignorant? I could guess as far as age and maturity it hits somewhere in high school after puberty (personal opinion, and no im not talking about the age of accountability here). In the work place I'm not sure, but there is surely an amount of time where you can begin just blaming yourself and your unwillingness to actually learn anything new or do things differently instead of blaming the fact that you don't know what your doing or don't understand how things are done.

How often am I willfully ignorant?

At this point...you become more of a roadblock.

(the message)Romans 14:22-23:
Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.

Misnomer of presidential proportions

I'm going on my political rant for the season.

Yes, I've said that I backed away from primary voting because I don't believe in the capability of any of the candidates. That doesn't mean I'm not following this muck up of a race.

Politics have always been a murky topic, people suspect the worst, develop conspiracy theories, throw mud, supply false promises and give constant non-answers to people needing actual answers.

I just finished reading John Grisham's latest novel surrounding law, but also politics, and the practice of dirty politics. How a person of financial power can basically purchase an election by pumping funds into the backing of a candidate.

Yeah I'm gonna sling a couple conspiracy theories. First of all take a look at our potential candidates.

Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator Barack Obama, Senator John McCain.

Ok Hillary Clinton is a long shot, she's a white woman, and she's backing a lot of her own campaign out of pocket, and still, eliciting a lot of public funding. She's seen as a cold yet overly emotional and unstable persona. Everyone saw her bid for the nomination as eminent at some point only because she is a very driven person, and sitting as navigator to Bill for two terms probably didn't satisfy her lust for the limelight. Let's see how he likes being first lady.

Barack Obama...well he's black, that is a start. Where did this political nobody come from? Where the heck is is funding coming from? Hillary has the money in the bank...but Obama? He's pulling in millions of dollars in funding...this no name black senator comes out of political obscurity to give Clinton a run for her money and rises to the point of being noted as one of the most 'influential and exciting candidates' of the 2008 election. People say he's going to bring back what America has lost. People are being sold on it. My biggest question is...who's gaining from his political possibility and what is the biggest gain with him in office? What stance will he take for, or against that is going to put money in someone else's pocket?

John McCain has tried to vie for the republican nomination before, and got squeezed out because he wasn't the best candidate. What makes him so great now? This guy might as well be a democrat as far as hardline republicans are concerned. He's got money coming in from big business and what not. But not nearly enough to win an election. I'm not going to touch on him much because he doesn't have as much controversy surrounding his campaign, and to be completely honest with the republican track record I don't think he has a prayer of winning this years presidential election. (not that I like the alternatives).

Then there are the other presidential un-hopefuls that will run under some kind of independent ticket. These people are in the game to 'win', but what they're really doing is pulling away votes from one party or the other. Depending on their stances and whos putting the money in where, then that could swing the vote either way in a close election.

"The overall gap between the three senators also increased: McCain has now raised just over $60 million, compared with Clinton’s $156 million and Obama’s $194 million."
"The two remaining Democratic contenders ended the month with a healthy amount of cash in hand: $33 million for Clinton and $39 million for Obama. The numbers are not quite as close as they appear: Obama has less than a million dollars in debt, while Clinton owes nearly $9 million in addition to the $5 million loan she made to her own campaign in January."

-cnn.com

So my first conspiracy is of money. Who's got it, and who wants it? Why these candidates and how is it going to help them?

My second issue, not so much theory, is the fact that this campaign to select the DEMOCRATIC RUNNER...not even the freaking president, (which i think most Americans are probably confused on at this point, they're going to expect to see both Obama and Clinton on the ticket!) has become about skin color and gender.

All candidates run around with a banner proclaiming change, none of them are willing to state what change that is, and then they attack each other based on their 'experience', lack there of, and ends up kinda pointing the finger at the others gender or skin color.

Grow up.

Obama identifies with blacks...duh...Clinton identifies with old people and hispanics...what?

Clinton's ticket has ended up more as a novelty because she's a woman...ooooo we've never done that before...we're sick of where we're at....she says the word change...VOTE FOR HER!
Obama has taken the same novelty ticket because he's a black man. What ever that has to do with novelty or capability I don't know. He grew up abroad for a lot of his years, he didn't grow up as far as most people are concerned "urban". He's not Randy's "dawg", and he certainly has enough sketchy background himself for people to be wary of him and the democratic party in general.

Why has this come down to color and gender? well...besides the fact that it is the most obvious subjective factors in this election (because both candidates are liberal enough that they bleed a rainbow) both candidates have decided to make it about color or gender. Obama has been quoted as talking about skin color, and trying to identify with white people because his grandma is white...who cares. (oh and not to mention the fact his pastor has gone on racial rants which obama had to 'smooth over)

"“…but she is a typical white person who, you know, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn’t know, there is a reaction that has been bred into our experiences that don’t go away and sometimes come out in the wrong way…”"

- Obama - cnn.com

So now we've got a race that the republicans can't win because of a bad track record and apparently they're either severely lethargic in our fund raising campaign or have no backers this round until the democrats go buck wild in office again and screw everything up worse. Not only this but the republicans are fighting with a campaign of novelty. Theres a woman and a black man up for a potential presidential nomination and instead of people being glued to issues, real politics and the betterment of our great nation, they're enamored with the color of obama's skin and clinton's lipstick or pants suit. Oh and they like to see how many times each person can say the word change and not actually give a reason how or why. I guess that's better than making false promises or promises that they can't keep. This way you know they're lying through their teeth because they're not actually saying anything at all.

Unfortunately ideas and words that resonate with people take hold stronger than actual substance does.

So at this point I bid adieu. Vote wisely...and actually read up on the issues.
This campaign is extremely reflective of the cash bleeding that goes on all of the time in office, and yet no one is willing to speak up to that account.

Don't vote on novelty either...because all you'll end up with is a cheap piece of eye candy that melts after a while.

going out of mind sale

I'm going to be stepping out of my mind here for the next week or two.

A) I'm the only person at work for a while supporting all of the speaking events on site, and events etc. Couple that with the regular work that needs done, all of the emergencies that come up (which is more often than not) and the fact that there are only so many work hours in the day...I'd rather jump off a bridge.

B) I'm at church every night from the time i can be until between 11 and later (last night 12:30, tonight who knows). This puts my sleep habits between 4 and 5 hours a night. I am trying to get a fiber optic curtain up and running with no luck yet and if you have any hints as to how to hook these suckers up DMX, either give me a call or come help me and I'll love you forever.

C) I haven't been to the gym in a week, and it isn't looking promising this week. That right there is enough for me to loose my sanity all together.

So there is your explanation as to why I look like I haven't slept, at well or look otherwise disheveled.

patientless waiting

Romans 9:16-17

It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

I'll tell you what, have some self worth issues, or problems thinking that you've got what it takes and then read something like that.

It never depends on what you do...but on God's mercy...I've messed up, I've run away before, I've tried my own way, I've tried on my own power to do it God's way...but it all comes back to God's mercy.

AND that he might display his power in you and proclaim it through you...wow...because of this I feel totally unworthy, yet I know this is his plan...in his timing. Later Paul goes on to talk about how God created some vessels to be in palaces and some to do common work. Whatever we are doing...do with all of our might to show God to those around us.

It's incredible. I picked up my bible wanting some 'inspiration' something that talked to my specific state of mind and particular influence and I get EXACTLY what i needed. God says...you're where you're supposed to be. My mercy is sufficient to deal with your position and your state. Just let me control it. You need to be ready to be used however I want you to be used.

I'm ready...waiting...impatiently...but I'm waiting.

something written, something lost

There is one light beneath me
A signal of life
Its so empty below why would I go
Love

That light is flickering now
Threatened life
Why should I throw down my own
Love

A savage black has set in
No hope left
Can one send hope back down
Love

When the sun won't come up
His face unseen
A hand cradles you forward
Love

No greater love

_____________________

Whats with this upset
I'm not sure I understand
I'm in a place that doesnt make sense
Where up is down and down is right

I can't take this place any more
So take its place
Out of my mind with myself
One step closer to separation anxiety

Finding myself is hard
When I look in the mirror
I dont see myself returned, only pieces
Where is the sun? I live in a hole.

I can't take these pills anymore
So take their place
I'm uncomfortable with myself
One step closer to falling off the edge

I know my cries are heard
Not bouncing back to earth
These cuts were meant to heal
You took their place too
Find me searching

Ive seen this play out before
And you took my place
I can make peace with myself
One sacrifice made it easier to go on

Do what it takes and take what it does

Do what it takes to make it through
Take what it does dish out to you through it all

Proverbs 20:
9 Who can say, "I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin."
27 The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.
30 Blows and wounds clean away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.

After reading Velvet Elvis a while back I understood a little bit more about the Jewish priests and the way that they taught. Most of the time the priests would answer in questions, if you look to the way that Jesus taught, it was in questions, questions that were self answering and pointed to the truth of the matter.

It is as if Solomon, wise king, is doing the same here. Someone has perhaps condemned someone of a wrong doing. Some great sin has been committed and everyone is pointing a finger. So...who among you can say that I've kept my heart pure; and I'm clean, without sin.

Frankly I think at that point everyone would have backed down, every person who said they had not, would have lied, and thus sinned.

Sin is not one of the big 5 (because everyone ignores half of the ten commandments). Sin is not even one of the ten commandments being broken. Those were given to the Jews because they were hard headed like we are and needed a physical reminder of what was already written on everyones hearts at conception. Why do you think that the 10 commandments are basically obeyed in most societies to some extent with maybe one odd twist here or there. We were all created with the same genetic pre-disposition to obey God. Sin, distorted and disrupted that pre-disposition to something anti-God.

This is what sin is. Anti-God. Apart from God. God cannot have anything to do with the sin nature, so anything that is apart from Him is considered sin. Unfortunately because we are born into this sin, because of the original sin, we do it day in and day out. Sure some people commit one of the big 10, but that makes them no worse off than someone who told a small white lie, or had a dirty thought. It was apart from God.

No one is above this.

Except Jesus, born without a sin nature.
Because as declared, the sin nature is passed down through the man, and Jesus was born of a virgin woman, Mary.

So how do you know when you've done something apart from God, how do you know you've sinned?

Go back a few years to the now obsolete technology, the overhead projector.
Light would shine through a transparent sheet of plastic, and project whatever ink stood in the way of the light onto the wall. The image that appeared was the absence of light.

Think of God as that overhead projector, he blasts us with his pure unadulterated light and whatever is not of him stands out like writing on the wall. His light searches you out. It exposes your sin, and Christ says, see you've got it too. No matter how small.

You hang your head in shame. How could Christ ever love me? How could I have so much sin?

Something I struggle with daily.

It's ok.

I've heard people say, well once you "get saved" you don't sin any more. I think the wordage of that phrase is a lie from satan. That is something that is used to guilt more Christians from being effective in their walk.

Once you accept Christ you have an out from sin.

Does that mean you always take it?
Heck no.
We're geared that way. We want to sin, because it's fun for a while.

Let me take a step back to the accepting Christ part. The last verse in proverbs talks about beating the evil out, and beatings purge the inmost being. Unfortunately this is misconstrued in some religions as abuse, and self abuse. I think that it's talking about a couple things, a) the blows that come to your ego or your personality because of the admittance of your sin. It hurts to say, I'm sorry. I screwed up. For some reason though, this is also cleansing. b) It has almost a prophetic meaning, speaking of Christ who through his beatings, and death was brought the ultimate cleansing for each person from their sin.

Because on the cross Christ took every person's sin upon himself that ever lived and ever would live. God had to turn his back on his son. Why? because God cannot be a part of sin.

Christ rose from the dead so that we may have the hope of salvation and ever lasting life from this dead and sinful world. Free of guilt.
A free gift.

We're asked to follow him, but that is a small return.

Let His light filter through you and expose the sin in your own life, things you need to confess and claim the blood of Christ over. Reading these passages have brought to light things in my own life.

My own writing on the wall.

What is yours? (meant as an introspective question)

A Jewish Disaster

Acts 14 (The Message)

1-3 When they got to Iconium they went, as they always did, to the meeting place of the Jews and gave their message. The Message convinced both Jews and non-Jews—and not just a few, either. But the unbelieving Jews worked up a whispering campaign against Paul and Barnabas, sowing mistrust and suspicion in the minds of the people in the street. The two apostles were there a long time, speaking freely, openly, and confidently as they presented the clear evidence of God's gifts, God corroborating their work with miracles and wonders.

4-7But then there was a split in public opinion, some siding with the Jews, some with the apostles. One day, learning that both the Jews and non-Jews had been organized by their leaders to beat them up, they escaped as best they could to the next towns—Lyconia, Lystra, Derbe, and that neighborhood—but then were right back at it again, getting out the Message.

It is amazing to me how much scripture parallels modern society, heck, even my own church.

First, I've been reading Proverbs, it is a challenge to check myself against every verse. Am I going through life with wisdom, or as the fool not fearing God? (here is something for another time)

I've also been reading in Acts, reading of the choosing of new disciples, the stoning of Stephen, the conversion of Saul.

Saul or rather Paul, starts his ministry off with a bang. He and Barnabas are tearing it up through the cities preaching to both Jews and Gentiles, to anyone who would hear, and to any who would believe. Kicking the Jews in the tails with the realization that God left his inheritance not only for the Jew but the non-Jew as well.

Of all people, you would think the Jews would leave them alone, they are Jewish by birth. You would also think that, because what Paul and Barnabas are preaching aligns so closely with scripture of old, and prophecy fulfilled, they would either believe or at least step out of the way. You would think that with the miracles being preformed in front of their eyes and the authority of which they proclaim the scripture that maybe, just maybe the Jews would at least back down and admit that there was something else in control here.

No.

Some believed and the others...well they deceived.

This division, this deception, goes hand in hand with religion today. Yes, it even happens in our own church. People become so wrapped up in their idea of what religion should be. They see authority given to one man, one woman, one teacher, one preacher. They put their trust so much so in fallible man that they loose sight of Christ. Out of this begins division, small seeds planted among those teetering on the edge of true faith, or even those who are saved, but are weak and easily influenced. These people begin to think that it's all about the man. They loose sight of the cross, or miss the cross altogether. They become so entrenched in their religion that they take the messengers of Christ and stone them and leave them for dead. Not caring one way or the other what happens to the body of Christ.

Unfortunately this is how satan works. He sends a few, they may not even know it. They sew deceit and deception among the ones gathered to hear the gospel. A small whisper turns into a murmur, that murmur builds into a subtle cry and that cry bursts into a roar.

Can you hear it?
It's the same tactic used before Pilot.
GIVE US BARABAS! CRUCIFY HIM!

So maybe the passages of Proverbs apply more than I realized as I typed....are you the man following wisdom, or the foolish man seeking his own flesh?

Further in the chapter, Paul does get stoned, he's left for dead. The fools missed something though, he wasn't dead! So what did he do? He got back up and after some recovery began preaching again, and ruffling the feathers of those Jews that stoned him. He didn't go after them, but continued preaching the truth of Christ.

Go ahead ruffle some feathers. In love and perseverance never give up.
You have been called in Christ to deliver his message to as many as would listen, some seed upon hard ground, some seed choked by weeds, and some after careful cultivation of many others, will grow into belief in Christ. So while you may not see direct fruits, your labor is not in vain. As time goes on it becomes harder to show people truth, because they have been deceived. They have convinced themselves of non-truths as truths.

Be of good courage because of the hope you have in Christ Jesus.

The Messed Up Messianic Message

It's been a while.
This one is going to be a little raw and honest and maybe at times incoherent.
I was in the desert for a while, and I'm ok with that because it created such a thirst and hunger for my God and a disdain for where I was it made me physically ill.
That is why I'm seeking the face of God, have asked him to restore me, and am actively seeking accountability in digging into my word daily.

Proverbs 4 (the message)

Learn It by Heart

20-22 Dear friend, listen well to my words;
tune your ears to my voice.
Keep my message in plain view at all times.
Concentrate! Learn it by heart!
Those who discover these words live, really live;
body and soul, they're bursting with health.

23-27 Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
that's where life starts.
Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth;
avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.
Keep your eyes straight ahead;
ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step,
and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left;
leave evil in the dust.

The Christian walk is not for the meek, it isn't for the person who wants to throw in the towel. IT ISN'T EASY. You fall, you get back up, you fall, you get back up, you fall, you get back up. What's different between my life, and the life of a non-Christ follower is I have a reason to get back up, and I have a coach screaming at me from the sidelines to get my tail in gear.

Now maybe I'm wrong in my title, but somewhere along the line Christians have messed up the message of the Messiah. The reason of Christ is to seek and save those who are lost.

My brother today moved out of the house, he broke rules my parents set up so that he could claim they kicked him out, and then said they were some kind of Christians. Why? because they did not accept him for who he is, what he wants to do, what he wants to be a part of.

Somewhere along the line the message of the messiah got messed up when it was conveyed to him...and unfortunately to many other people out there.

Lost is a word that has two parts, the first part is that there is something you were originally part of that you became separated from. Before original sin man walked with God. When sin entered the world, we became separated from God. There is where we got lost. Our nature is now apart from God.

The second part of being lost, is that you are actively seeking something. In this case...you're seeking to fill the original hole that was left when sin separated us from God. A lot of people have filled that hole, some people have stuffed it so full they don't even know they're still lost. Why do you think there are people who seem so happy, content or filled where they are at without God? Some people have loosely packed that hole, so they're still looking. There are cracks in the facade.

So the purpose of Christ is to seek and save those who were separated from himself by sin, and are actively seeking the reason they feel so empty.

So why has the churched messed up this message?

Somewhere along the line we were lead to think that the message of Christ is only about love. Jesus loves the little children...

Genesis 19:24 (the message)
"Then God rained brimstone and fire down on Sodom and Gomorrah— a river of lava from God out of the sky!—and destroyed these cities and the entire plain and everyone who lived in the cities and everything that grew from the ground."

Lot begged God to see if there was anyone righteous in the city, and so God, being loving, let Lot search the city.
He found no one, and because of his righteous anger and inability to be a part of sin, destroyed the city.

Even though God said we are to love the sinner, we're not supposed to love the sin. God said we're not supposed to judge peoples heart...but that is because that is reserved for Him. We cannot judge, or have righteous anger because we are not righteous, and what righteousness we may pretend claim, it is like dirty rags to God.

Today in church we sang a song, I am a friend of God.
This song irritates me to no end, I know in my heart it is theologically wrong and today it hit home why. God called us sons and daughters in his kingdom. As sons and daughters we are subject to his discipline. If God see's us mess up, fall over, drop out, he can smack us in the head if he wants...I know I just had that happen! If we're just friends of God then we're not actually part of his family. Merely observers of his grace and mercy to his family (tasting of his glory...). He can't actually discipline us because we're outsiders. He can't provide his blessings either because we're not heirs to his throne. I praise God that I'm not just his friend but I'm his son, recipient of not only his blessings but his correction as well. Goodness knows where I'd be at if I didn't have that.

Oops, I guess it isn't PC to talk about the wrath of God because God is love...

I could seriously go through and pick apart attributes of God that are less than the PC Jesus with the long flowing hair, perfectly groomed beared and dazzling white teeth (and dare i mention white skin?...wait Jesus was not caucasian? no he was Israeli...probably fairly dark, not black, but probably dark...and dirty...and probably had nappy hair, he was a nazarite, no hair cutting etc.). I think most people reading this understand those things of God, maybe not completely, otherwise there would be a more correct understanding of Christ.

Why else when you ask who Jesus is do people give you quizzical looks, backwards answers, and theological garbage.

I think with this blog I'm just scratching the surface of what I really want to discuss. I'd like you to be part of it. Leave your thoughts. Verses. Questions, commendations, condemnations or the like. I need to sit down and organize this into an outline and do a deeper study on it, but I wanted to get this down and out before it left. I have some good thoughts when I jump on the treadmill and I don't even think I remembered half of what came to mind while this topic was at heart.


Happy discussion. I look forward to it.

PS...my brother moved back in within hours only because he doesn't have a car...or license.